Finding the true meaning in a meltdown

My poor little guy. We, the parents, declared the blanket fort had to be put away tonight before dinner. This marks the end of a fun holiday weekend. And begins the meltdown/manic attack of a rather strong boy. After 15 minutes of my restraining him, with as much comfort as I could verbally give he calmed. We talked. Then talked more. I'm learning to ask questions differently. I'm learning to accept answers as I perceive them, are not the same definition to him. Tonight, I made, what I believe, is a huge leap in understanding. Now I could be wrong. But it lines up that his initial 'at school' episodes started as testing prep began. The constant rhetoric of "school is stupid, boring, etc" got louder and more frequent. Tonight I unlocked a window that showed me that anxiety is a trigger. He's struggling with understanding the concepts in math and language arts. He feels stupid and is anxious about it. He feels that his sitting in class IS a waste of time, his, and the school's. All because he doesn't feel he is learning anything. He's extremely frustrated, and has lost a great deal of self confidence. Now I know. Now I can work to fix things for him. My poor little man. He loves so passionately, he feels so intensely. I hope I can make this better, somehow.

And a special "love note" to Bella, who was held and patted and cried on, and never flinched. And who barks at us adamantly to remind all of us our volume and tone of voice matters. She's a therapy dog at heart, if not on paper.

Recovering from when the run goes wrong

 I ran the OC half marathon. I was ill-prepared and the weekend didn't go well. The race was a painful experience both physically and emotionally. I have Plantar Fasciitis in my right foot. My back keeps pulling. In the last few weeks post race, I've considered "retiring" and just plain quitting. Maybe I'm really not a runner. But, I'm registered for several races including next weeks San Diego Rock n roll half, and the Dumbo Double Dare in late August.  I can't just quit. But emotionally my failings at the OC half taken a toll. I don't want to run like I did before. A talk with my mom set all these thoughts tumbling out. I realized what was happening. Now I have to fix it. It all started with a run. It will continue. I will continue. I am not a quitter. Let's call it a re-grouping and restart. :) 

Major Moment (second)

This past Sunday I ran my 5th Half marathon. Running the OC Marathon's Half Marathon event. The course was stunning! But, it had more hills than I understood. I arrived early and though I was a little cold, my own fault, I had no issues parking or getting a shuttle to the start. I ran on too little sleep, with not enough proper training, and didn't do as we'll as I'd hoped. I finished in 3:35:02. Not terrible, but not where I wasted to be. The "glory" of my finish was deflated greatly when I learned they'd run out of medals. Photographers normally cramming for a finish/medal photo looked at me blankly. The after race treat bag was an over ripe orange and a clif bar, to be washed down with warm Gatorade. Warming blankets were no where to e found in the exit chute. I finally asked and learned the medical tent had them. Upon finding the tent I waited in line for 10 minutes, while watching others ignore the line and be handed a blanket. I then had to trek to gear pick up. Located at the far end of the post-event party. Total confusion there. Finally, thanks to a very kind volunteer, my bag was retrieved. From there I had a 1/2 mile walk to my car. Once there, the real fun started. Exiting the parking lot should have taken 10-15minutes. It took nearly 30.
All that said, I'll do it again. The course is too beautiful to miss. Hopefully the emails from participants will be read and used as learning tools.
*What I learned, never run on no sleep. *When the body is hurting it's warning you. Listen. I'm now off my running feet for a bit, due to plantar fasciitis.
*runners are the kindest most supportive people ever.
*hill work must be a part of my training always. Not just when I'm preparing for a hilly course.
Next up SD RocknRoll half. I'll try again for that sub-3. :)

A major moment (first)

After a lot of issues, several of which landed us with multi-day suspensions from school, and the failure of our first go with a psychiatrist. Our appointment was Friday. The NP(nurse practitioner) Ms. Carol was really cool. I'm hopefully optimistic. She speaks with authority, but with gentleness. No barked orders of how it will be. She listened to all 3 of us, and answered questions fully. We have an added diagnosis and we are trying a new medication to help us with this. He's been on the new med since Friday evening and I am seeing a distinct difference. While the diagnosis is a little unnerving, the outcome of it; extra therapy, parenting classes, & the additional medication is a relief. There is light in the tunnel. I'm hoping its the end, not a randomly placed wall sconce.