Boston 2013

I wasn't sure I was a runner until Monday. I woke, took kids to school, and came home quickly to live stream the elite finishers. I've always known there was a marathon in Boston. I couldn't tell you when it was, until now. Because I'm a runner. I watched the women finish and I cried and felt a surge of emotion I'd only known at finish lines. I want to be able to have that stride, that form, that strength. I watched the elite men finish and was awed by the power. Then I went to lunch. Upon returning home my phone was buzzing with texts and facebook messages. Something had happened. Explosions at Boston. My youngest daughter had been watching live stream on the news at school. She texted, she was glad I wasn't there, she was scared. I went inside and found coverage immediately. I checked FB, and Twitter. I knew 4 people who ran that day. All 4 were unharmed. Shock, anger, disbelief, hurt and sadness, all this circled inside me. I cried. I felt lost. I felt scared. In the next few hours, all that filtered into desire, a two-fold need. 1. How to help, I contacted the Red Cross and donated blood. The next part will take me, I'm committing now, 2 years. I will run Boston in 2015. This is no simple statement. I have to qualify. It's a full marathon. And to add perspective, the elite women are 1.5 hours faster in a FULL marathon than my current half marathon time. My next race is May 5. The OC Half Marathon. It's going to mean a lot more to me, because now I know. I am a runner. To the running family, we are that, a family. My love is with each of you directly affected by the events. Let's run.

This past Monday we took Drew back for another test at the Psychiatrist. Same deal as before. Take the meds, wait an hour, take the test, see if results are acceptable or not. Well, Drew showed he was done. He had a meltdown before the test. Then refused to take it. This is a boring computer test. It's not designed to be entertainment, but it's also painless. After 2-1/2 hours of trying to wait him out to calm down, regroup, etc. we decided to go back the next day and try again. When we discussed this with the Dr. his response was not expected! Instead of agreeing and trying to talk with Drew about it. He spoke gruffly to Drew about cooperation and involvement. Then closed the file folder and suggested strongly to us that we find an intensive 30-60 day residential treatment facility for him. WHOA! Initially while heartsick, I considered it. I mean, he is a doctor. We left, to do research on facilities, etc. I made phone calls. Initially looking for someplace that would take Drew. Not too many places accept kids under 16. Thanks to Sharon at St. Joseph's I was referred to UCI's Autism Center of Orange county. Well, they have a 4month wait list. That won't work. So, they sent me to Help Me Grow, a referral organization. After a 20 minute phone call I had several phone numbers. I called the first choice on the list. It's not a residential it's just a new Dr., but it's a group, the Psychiatrists work in tandem with therapists that do "talk therapy" and "behavior counselling", After a brief chat with them, confirming insurance contracts, and we are set with an appointment. The more I thought about the first Dr.'s response the more disturbed I was. Drew wasn't violent, his grumbled statement of wishing he could blow up the place than take another test fits a frustrated ADHD/ODD/Anxiety 10 year old boy. It was not said with intent to action, it was said with frustration. There is a difference! And as a Psychiatrist, isn' he supposed to HELP people through ALL the issues that are a part of this diagnosis? So, the adventure continues. In the meantime, I called the Pediatrician to let him know what's happening. He was shocked too.  I've also talked to Drew about Monday, and how the Dr behaved and how it made ME feel and asked him about his feelings and he doesn't like him. (DUH). So he's just as happy to not go back as anyone. Really hoping this next try is successful!!!!

The ADHD Adventure

Today I'm sharing the adventures of my Son, now 10, who at 5 was given a diagnosis of ADHD. That diagnosis came from his pediatrician and was accompanied by a prescription for a med commonly used to treat the symptoms of ADHD. Being a bit in the dark on how it all works, and well, I'll admit it now, ashamed of the whole situation. I took the prescription gave the meds as directed and called it happy. I did no research, I did no after care, besides every 3 months going for a weight check. Side effect of the meds is loss of appetite. He's already thin, so this doesn't help. We were sailing along the not so smooth seas of life, but no one knew about the tantrums, outbursts, threats or fears that were part of the "behind the scenes" of our life. So all was well enough. Then, something happened. I'm blaming hormones. A few months ago he started having outbursts at school. Threatening violence, attempting to provoke others into fights. Still, nothing outward violent against others. Yes, you guessed it, the other shoe dropped. In a 10 day span, that included 3-1/2 days out due to suspension he kicked,bit or hit others, and threatened the type of violence that brings in police, at school. The escalation to violence outside the home forced my hand, if you will. We saw the pediatrician for a referral, and shortly after began the process of diagnosis and treatment for my son with a Psychiatrist. It is ADHD. As it turns out, those 4 little letters mean A LOT more than can't sit still and focus at school. I'm now a google and wikipedia expert. In the last 10 days we have assessed that we are dealing with severe ADHD, with mild OCD, and Anxiety.  The Psychiatrist we are seeing specializes in kids with ADHD, and uses something called the TOVA testing for medication dosing. Basically, we started out on no meds, Drew took the test (it's a computer thing), and we got our baseline, then we started with 5mg of a medication. No change in testing, so we tried 10mg, no change in testing. We went back a day later with a different medication, no change in testing. We've done this 5 different times, no change. The cognitive level the test shows, my DS shouldn't be able to tie shoes, which he does, let alone read, which he does. So what's the issue. Today, in discussion of the latest results a conversation between Drew and Doc it became apparent that Drew is "blacking out" or "zoning" during the test. We will test again Monday with a selected dosage of  meds, if the results are the same, we will go for an EEG. The suspect, petit mal seizures. No, really, that's not frightening at all. Sigh.