Me? Really? Well, then you too!!!

I was recently told I was inspiring, by more than one person. For more than one reason. That humbled me. I don't feel inspiring. I'm a typical mom living the average middle-income life. I drive an older, not fully loaded Honda Pilot, we buy groceries at Sam's club & Albertson's depending which has the better sales. Clothing will be purchased from Swap meet, thrift stores, to Target or Khols, if we have coupons. I sew, so I can alter (love that! And to this day am grateful to my ex-mother in-law for teaching me the basics). I cook mostly from scratch because I hate what soy does to my system and it's in everything! I run so I don't yell as often when the kids  aren't being angelic (that can be hourly!!). I also run to prove to myself daily that I'm not limited due to asthma. I had doctors tell me I'd never run. (Neener neener!). But really, I'm just doing what needs to be done. If my doing my beat, which some days means everyone had clean socks and breakfast, is inspiring. Then yay for making another person see how well they too can be themselves, and then they can inspire others. So go. Be inspiring. If I can do it, anyone can!!

Finding the true meaning in a meltdown

My poor little guy. We, the parents, declared the blanket fort had to be put away tonight before dinner. This marks the end of a fun holiday weekend. And begins the meltdown/manic attack of a rather strong boy. After 15 minutes of my restraining him, with as much comfort as I could verbally give he calmed. We talked. Then talked more. I'm learning to ask questions differently. I'm learning to accept answers as I perceive them, are not the same definition to him. Tonight, I made, what I believe, is a huge leap in understanding. Now I could be wrong. But it lines up that his initial 'at school' episodes started as testing prep began. The constant rhetoric of "school is stupid, boring, etc" got louder and more frequent. Tonight I unlocked a window that showed me that anxiety is a trigger. He's struggling with understanding the concepts in math and language arts. He feels stupid and is anxious about it. He feels that his sitting in class IS a waste of time, his, and the school's. All because he doesn't feel he is learning anything. He's extremely frustrated, and has lost a great deal of self confidence. Now I know. Now I can work to fix things for him. My poor little man. He loves so passionately, he feels so intensely. I hope I can make this better, somehow.

And a special "love note" to Bella, who was held and patted and cried on, and never flinched. And who barks at us adamantly to remind all of us our volume and tone of voice matters. She's a therapy dog at heart, if not on paper.

Recovering from when the run goes wrong

 I ran the OC half marathon. I was ill-prepared and the weekend didn't go well. The race was a painful experience both physically and emotionally. I have Plantar Fasciitis in my right foot. My back keeps pulling. In the last few weeks post race, I've considered "retiring" and just plain quitting. Maybe I'm really not a runner. But, I'm registered for several races including next weeks San Diego Rock n roll half, and the Dumbo Double Dare in late August.  I can't just quit. But emotionally my failings at the OC half taken a toll. I don't want to run like I did before. A talk with my mom set all these thoughts tumbling out. I realized what was happening. Now I have to fix it. It all started with a run. It will continue. I will continue. I am not a quitter. Let's call it a re-grouping and restart. :) 

Major Moment (second)

This past Sunday I ran my 5th Half marathon. Running the OC Marathon's Half Marathon event. The course was stunning! But, it had more hills than I understood. I arrived early and though I was a little cold, my own fault, I had no issues parking or getting a shuttle to the start. I ran on too little sleep, with not enough proper training, and didn't do as we'll as I'd hoped. I finished in 3:35:02. Not terrible, but not where I wasted to be. The "glory" of my finish was deflated greatly when I learned they'd run out of medals. Photographers normally cramming for a finish/medal photo looked at me blankly. The after race treat bag was an over ripe orange and a clif bar, to be washed down with warm Gatorade. Warming blankets were no where to e found in the exit chute. I finally asked and learned the medical tent had them. Upon finding the tent I waited in line for 10 minutes, while watching others ignore the line and be handed a blanket. I then had to trek to gear pick up. Located at the far end of the post-event party. Total confusion there. Finally, thanks to a very kind volunteer, my bag was retrieved. From there I had a 1/2 mile walk to my car. Once there, the real fun started. Exiting the parking lot should have taken 10-15minutes. It took nearly 30.
All that said, I'll do it again. The course is too beautiful to miss. Hopefully the emails from participants will be read and used as learning tools.
*What I learned, never run on no sleep. *When the body is hurting it's warning you. Listen. I'm now off my running feet for a bit, due to plantar fasciitis.
*runners are the kindest most supportive people ever.
*hill work must be a part of my training always. Not just when I'm preparing for a hilly course.
Next up SD RocknRoll half. I'll try again for that sub-3. :)

A major moment (first)

After a lot of issues, several of which landed us with multi-day suspensions from school, and the failure of our first go with a psychiatrist. Our appointment was Friday. The NP(nurse practitioner) Ms. Carol was really cool. I'm hopefully optimistic. She speaks with authority, but with gentleness. No barked orders of how it will be. She listened to all 3 of us, and answered questions fully. We have an added diagnosis and we are trying a new medication to help us with this. He's been on the new med since Friday evening and I am seeing a distinct difference. While the diagnosis is a little unnerving, the outcome of it; extra therapy, parenting classes, & the additional medication is a relief. There is light in the tunnel. I'm hoping its the end, not a randomly placed wall sconce.

Boston 2013

I wasn't sure I was a runner until Monday. I woke, took kids to school, and came home quickly to live stream the elite finishers. I've always known there was a marathon in Boston. I couldn't tell you when it was, until now. Because I'm a runner. I watched the women finish and I cried and felt a surge of emotion I'd only known at finish lines. I want to be able to have that stride, that form, that strength. I watched the elite men finish and was awed by the power. Then I went to lunch. Upon returning home my phone was buzzing with texts and facebook messages. Something had happened. Explosions at Boston. My youngest daughter had been watching live stream on the news at school. She texted, she was glad I wasn't there, she was scared. I went inside and found coverage immediately. I checked FB, and Twitter. I knew 4 people who ran that day. All 4 were unharmed. Shock, anger, disbelief, hurt and sadness, all this circled inside me. I cried. I felt lost. I felt scared. In the next few hours, all that filtered into desire, a two-fold need. 1. How to help, I contacted the Red Cross and donated blood. The next part will take me, I'm committing now, 2 years. I will run Boston in 2015. This is no simple statement. I have to qualify. It's a full marathon. And to add perspective, the elite women are 1.5 hours faster in a FULL marathon than my current half marathon time. My next race is May 5. The OC Half Marathon. It's going to mean a lot more to me, because now I know. I am a runner. To the running family, we are that, a family. My love is with each of you directly affected by the events. Let's run.

This past Monday we took Drew back for another test at the Psychiatrist. Same deal as before. Take the meds, wait an hour, take the test, see if results are acceptable or not. Well, Drew showed he was done. He had a meltdown before the test. Then refused to take it. This is a boring computer test. It's not designed to be entertainment, but it's also painless. After 2-1/2 hours of trying to wait him out to calm down, regroup, etc. we decided to go back the next day and try again. When we discussed this with the Dr. his response was not expected! Instead of agreeing and trying to talk with Drew about it. He spoke gruffly to Drew about cooperation and involvement. Then closed the file folder and suggested strongly to us that we find an intensive 30-60 day residential treatment facility for him. WHOA! Initially while heartsick, I considered it. I mean, he is a doctor. We left, to do research on facilities, etc. I made phone calls. Initially looking for someplace that would take Drew. Not too many places accept kids under 16. Thanks to Sharon at St. Joseph's I was referred to UCI's Autism Center of Orange county. Well, they have a 4month wait list. That won't work. So, they sent me to Help Me Grow, a referral organization. After a 20 minute phone call I had several phone numbers. I called the first choice on the list. It's not a residential it's just a new Dr., but it's a group, the Psychiatrists work in tandem with therapists that do "talk therapy" and "behavior counselling", After a brief chat with them, confirming insurance contracts, and we are set with an appointment. The more I thought about the first Dr.'s response the more disturbed I was. Drew wasn't violent, his grumbled statement of wishing he could blow up the place than take another test fits a frustrated ADHD/ODD/Anxiety 10 year old boy. It was not said with intent to action, it was said with frustration. There is a difference! And as a Psychiatrist, isn' he supposed to HELP people through ALL the issues that are a part of this diagnosis? So, the adventure continues. In the meantime, I called the Pediatrician to let him know what's happening. He was shocked too.  I've also talked to Drew about Monday, and how the Dr behaved and how it made ME feel and asked him about his feelings and he doesn't like him. (DUH). So he's just as happy to not go back as anyone. Really hoping this next try is successful!!!!

The ADHD Adventure

Today I'm sharing the adventures of my Son, now 10, who at 5 was given a diagnosis of ADHD. That diagnosis came from his pediatrician and was accompanied by a prescription for a med commonly used to treat the symptoms of ADHD. Being a bit in the dark on how it all works, and well, I'll admit it now, ashamed of the whole situation. I took the prescription gave the meds as directed and called it happy. I did no research, I did no after care, besides every 3 months going for a weight check. Side effect of the meds is loss of appetite. He's already thin, so this doesn't help. We were sailing along the not so smooth seas of life, but no one knew about the tantrums, outbursts, threats or fears that were part of the "behind the scenes" of our life. So all was well enough. Then, something happened. I'm blaming hormones. A few months ago he started having outbursts at school. Threatening violence, attempting to provoke others into fights. Still, nothing outward violent against others. Yes, you guessed it, the other shoe dropped. In a 10 day span, that included 3-1/2 days out due to suspension he kicked,bit or hit others, and threatened the type of violence that brings in police, at school. The escalation to violence outside the home forced my hand, if you will. We saw the pediatrician for a referral, and shortly after began the process of diagnosis and treatment for my son with a Psychiatrist. It is ADHD. As it turns out, those 4 little letters mean A LOT more than can't sit still and focus at school. I'm now a google and wikipedia expert. In the last 10 days we have assessed that we are dealing with severe ADHD, with mild OCD, and Anxiety.  The Psychiatrist we are seeing specializes in kids with ADHD, and uses something called the TOVA testing for medication dosing. Basically, we started out on no meds, Drew took the test (it's a computer thing), and we got our baseline, then we started with 5mg of a medication. No change in testing, so we tried 10mg, no change in testing. We went back a day later with a different medication, no change in testing. We've done this 5 different times, no change. The cognitive level the test shows, my DS shouldn't be able to tie shoes, which he does, let alone read, which he does. So what's the issue. Today, in discussion of the latest results a conversation between Drew and Doc it became apparent that Drew is "blacking out" or "zoning" during the test. We will test again Monday with a selected dosage of  meds, if the results are the same, we will go for an EEG. The suspect, petit mal seizures. No, really, that's not frightening at all. Sigh.

Beating the clock

Saturday I ran the Rose Bowl Triathlon in Pasadena. My last 2 races I was in the 2 hour 15 minute range. I wanted to beat 2 hours today. I'm still slow on the run, my split was 46 minutes and change. I look forward to breaking the 30minute 5k mark. My legs and lungs need to learn to work together better. This race it was all about the bicycle. I've been practicing my gears some. Not enough for smooth automatic transitions. But, enough that I knew to go to smaller gears for hills and larger for straight / down hill. My previous split for the bike was just over an hour. Today I broke the 1 hour mark! My transition from run to bike wasn't too bad. My transition from bike to swim was a sad 4 minutes. My legs were pissed at me. I'd pushed the bike hard. My swim was a respectable 5 minutes 37 seconds. My total time? Yes!!! 1 hour 54 minutes and 2 seconds 1:54:02) I'm a happy camper!!! And to any who heard any of "those" words I mumbled on the bike course hills, I apologize. ;)

Running, how it all began

This post is dedicated to my dear friends Stephanie, and Joe. For it is because of them that I am able to shamelessly brag that I have in 6 months, run 3 5K's, 4 half marathons, and 3 Sprint Triathlons.
It all started in August of 2012. I watched on Facebook as my friend Joe finished a half marathon at Disneyland. He posted fantastic photos, and made me dream of being able to do that. At the time, I was unhealthy. My weight was a serious issue. My asthma was aggravated by the weight, and my heart was not liking the extra meds for the asthma. All in all I was a mess. I kept trying the gym, but it's a scary place for skinny people or body builders. I am neither. 
Fast forward about a year, and I've now become friends with Stephanie. She's an amazing person, who has through running, lost a lot of weight and become very healthy. I truly, deeply admire her. In August of 2013 she challenged me to do a 5K at an event that she was running the 10K. I accepted the challenge and began using the C25K iphone app. I run/walked the race and finished with a respectable 48 minute time. Not too shabby for a girl who couldn't carry a laundry basket upstairs 3 weeks earlier. A week goes by and Stephanie reports that she has strep and can not run the Long Beach half marathon. I take her bib and do it in her place. I have 2 weeks to prepare. That is NOT enough time. But, I am a determined person, so I just do it. I ran portions, and walked more, and in the end I finished in 4 hours and 42 seconds. My Goal was 4 hours. I'll take it! I succeeded and didn't die!!! I also fell in love! I wanted to do more. I wanted to do better. So I signed up to run the Tinker Bell half. It has a 5k the day before. Why not? It's a fun run/walk. Done. I walked the entirety of it. My finish, a respectable 3:36, I was doing it!! In between those two races I decided I wanted to try a triathlon. But I knew I couldn't do THOSE distances. So I found Sprint triathlons. 5k run, 15mile bike ride and a 250 meter swim. In December I finished my 1st triathlon 2 hours 30 minutes. Not too bad. I didn't finish last. But I was close to last. But I finished!! Somewhere between that and running Tinker Bell I found an app that gives me dates and places of local runs. Between that and my friends I found more races. I'm now 3 races away from completing an amazing, to me, 4 half marathons, 4 5k's, and 4 triathlons in 6 months. I have become a runner and a triathlete. My last half marathon, I broke the 3 hour 3 minute wall. My time was 3 hours 27 minutes. My next race is in 4 days. Another triathlon. My goal is to be under 2 hours. I'll let ya know how I do.

Returning to blogging

I'm going to give this blog thing another try. While I will continue to post about my kids and the fun and silliness that is being the mom of 4. I will also be writing more about a new personal journey. I'm now a runner. I started walking in August 2012. In September I ran my 1st half marathon. In December I ran my first Sprint Triathlon. I hope you'll enjoy the adventure with me.
-Jen

Lessons Learned

Things I've learned recently.

A child with any level of curiosity in a car with electric seat adjustment AND an in dashboard GPS will NOT be able to focus on homework.

Dogs can "talk" it's not speaking as we do, but there was no denying the noises Bella made the last two days when she had her sweater put on and was leashed to go for a walk with Trudy and I. (note to self, walking the dogs is good for them too!!)

Children, when properly motivated can accomplish just about anything!!! While steadily improving Tori has never been a super academic student. Then we started horseback riding classes. She presented me with ALL her homework finished and ready to turn in, forms to be signed and a written list of needs for science class before the lights out panic attack!

Having no dirty clothes does not mean the laundry is finished. Sigh, I'm about to go fold and put away a lot of clothes!!! I'm also going to go through my son's clothes. He'll forgive me. Someday.

Eating for health can taste good, it just takes a little more time to plan and prepare. I'm learning to cook from scratch and really loving it!

Coming back to the blog

It's been a while since I've been here. So long, in fact, that I had to reset my password having completely forgotten what it was. I was avoiding some chores this morning, and reading some friends blogs and decided I might try this again. So here I am.
Since my last entry I've married DBF, so awesome!
The kids are all a bit older, Beth graduated from HS!!! And now the younger 3 are enjoying the beginnings of the new year, we are experiencing 8th, 6th, and 3rd grades respectively. I'm still subbing and managing the properties my family rents out. I've added Hubby's house to the list, we're in the get it cleaned up and ready stages for his house. Hoping to list it by November. It'll only be 2 years later than we wanted.

I'll be back when I have more whimsical things to say, and someone can explain to the kids that the laundry doesn't do itself. :o)

Tears a Disney weekend and teaching.

This past weekend I had the kids, minus Beth. She traded a weekend so was with her Dad. The 3 littles requested a sleepover at Nana and Pawpaw's. So I had a Friday night with no kids. So my bf and I headed to see the Mids. A fun cover band, made up of jr. high school teachers. I work with or for several of these teachers. It's fun to see them and all the other "school" folk outside of school. We stayed until about 11:30 and I was done. Came home and snuggled before going to bed. Saturday the kids were scheduled to stay and Nana and Pawpaw's as dbf and I had a memorial service to attend. One of our church choir family passed away earlier in the week. Janet will be dearly missed!!! That was the tears.
After recovering from that by eating more cookies than I should have at the reception, we picked up the kids and headed to Disney. Nothing like Mickey and company to make you feel better!! The kids all wanted to ride Splash Mountain. I did not. So dbf, who will do this ride anytime, any weather condition, rode with them! Thank you honey!!! I really just did not want to get wet. I waited at the exit after they went into the building. They didn't get soaked, but they were all wet-ish. Tori didn't like it, and swears she'll never ride it again. She said the same thing about Indiana Jones, and now loves that ride, so I'll give her 6months and see what she says. Katie and Drew loved it. After that we all rode Alice in Wonderland, and then went to dinner at Pizza Port (the kids LOVE this restaurant). After dinner we agreed it was time to go home. So we rode the train from Tomorrow land to Main street and headed home.
Sunday was church and Superbowl, it was a good game, though I'm really sorry the Steelers won, and sad the Cardinals lost. But it was fun to watch. The kids played while I watched the game. We tried to do the pool, but the water was too cold. So after that they watched movies. It was a good night. It was a good weekend.
Yesterday I worked half day, I've been working in SDC's which are special ed. classes for mild to moderate students. Mostly they are autistic or downs syndrome. Yesterday I was in a Moderate to severe. WOW, first it makes me soooo grateful for my healthy children!! Second it was FUN! I played with D. she's 9, has cerebral palsy and other stuff, she's in a special wheel chair, and cannot talk or eat. Yes, we played. The game was get My hand. The goal was to have her touch my hand on the tray of her chair wherever I placed it. When she didn't get me in "time" I tickled her knee or hands. We had a blast!!! E. who has mild CP and other issues bounced with me, this is an exercise for him to keep his mobility. He can sort of communicate, and between his attempts at speech and his actions his aide and I got that he really liked me, and wants me to come back. I won't bore you all with the rest of the kids, but I had a great time. Though I was nervous when i first went in and saw the kids, I wasn't sure I could handle the situation. I'm so glad I got that call and did it. It was a blast.

Ok, I'm off to be productive today. Have a good everyone.

No new news

Life just continues to plug along. I think the one really cool thing that has happened is in my settling into my new home, I've gotten pictures hung up. Pictures of my family. We had them before but I couldn't hang them (don't ask). Now it's all me! YAY!! the hallway to the bath and bedrooms is covered in family photos. Most are just snapshots in $1 frames from Big Lots, but they look GREAT! :o)

The little kids are with their Dad this weekend. Beth and I are attending a function, so my weekend is booked. In 2 weeks I'm going to Mexico for part of the weekend. It's time for my 6month post-op check up. I can't believe it's been over 6months. Time flies kids!!!!

I think that really is it. Told ya no really good new news. Sigh~ I'm boring.

Happy 2009!!

Well, since I last posted; we celebrated Thanksgiving, I went to Mexico as the kids were with their dad. It was very relaxing for me. We celebrated Christmas at the new apartment. It was a little cramped, but lots and lots of fun!!! I got a new camera. I'll be sharing pictures soon. Over the holiday break we spent several days at Disney Resort, loving disney! The kids spent the week after Christmas through the Friday after New Year's with their Dad, I ran off to Vegas! WHAT fun!!! I rode the roller coaster in the New York New York hotel. Saw Barry Manilow in concert, and Cirque Du Solie's Zumanity (definately R rated!!) but fun.

The house closed escrow on 12/31. Wohoo. I'm all moved into my apartment and am working on getting settled. There's a difference between moved in and settled! I'll get settled soon. Hopefully not too long as I'd like to move into my house soon. But first I have to find it.

The kids continue to do well. We've had to make some adjustments with the smaller living spaces, but we're all learning to keep things picked up a lot better!

I'll try to come back soon.

A new record

As you know the court ordered the sale of the house. We jumped through the hoops to get the approved listing agent.

I met them Monday to walk through the house, etc. We listed Monday evening. Tuesday I had 4 showings. This morning I had 3 offers. I accepted one of them. My house should go into escrow by Friday. Gotta get his signatures on the paperwork too. Whew. Now to find my new home!!

In other news, more fun news. I had parent-teacher conferences with both Drew and Tori's teachers. Usually I dread these, but this year was different. Drew's been doing really well with his homework, so I was hopeful. My hopes were met ten-fold. My kid knows all kinds of great stuff. resetting our grading scale to the standard A - F scale, and Drew has B's across the board, except writing, which is a C...not too bad for a kid who had D's last year, and is known to have a small motor skill issues.

Then we had Tori's... HOLY COW. She's got A's!!!! I was so excited. She tried so hard last year, and just didn't have things click for her. It's clicked!!! I'm really excited for Katie's conference on Monday. And as I'm in regular contact with Beth's teachers I'm not worried about her at all. Wohoo! We're having a good year academically!!! :o)

Ok, gotta go pack some more.

Divorce update

There are other things, but honestly this is the main thing on MY mind right now.

We had a custody hearing on 10/30. We ended with joint custody, alternate weekends, and the kids spend 2-6pm with their dad Mon. and Thursdays. We'll review this in January.

This week he (the X) took the sale of the house to court, and "won". So the house goes on the market Tuesday. I've found places and am hopeful that everything will go smoothly at this point. For now i'm sorting through things to start packing.

Wish me luck!

a real life update

I've not posted anything here, as this is a public site, and my kids might get word of things.

As of the middle of February I became separated from my husband. In late August I filed for divorce. In September his response to the papers were filed. On March 16,2009 my marriage will be ended officially and legally. There are many reasons for my decision, and this was MY decision. And they are all very personal so I will not discuss them here. I am at least 50% at fault for the breakdown of the relationship, as all relationships are at least 50/50, most aren't though.

Tuesday night we had a situation arise, and as of Wednesday last week my husband is no longer living at the house with the kids and I. I told the kids of the divorce and explained to them in the most basic terms that due to a fight with their dad the court says we cannot be together at all at this time. They were upset, as expected, but made an amazing recovery. Since Wednesday we've had a lot of conversations about what this means, what's next, and such. I'm answering their questions with the simplest, but honest answers I can give.

If you are of the persuasion to believe in prayer I would appreciate you offer a few for my kids, my husband and myself. We are all going through a rather challenging time.

Beth's big day, and her other big day.

Friday Beth had her birthday day at Disney. On this day, the birthday child goes at the opening bell with me to City Hall, gets the birthday button, and then we ride only the rides that child wishes to ride. Well, Beth being older, invited her boyfriend, Logan, and our family friend Clark. After aquiring her button, we rode the street car to the castle for fun, then walked back to put our "if we ride water rides" bag of clothes into a locker. We met Logan on the way, and headed to Matterhorn, we rode other rides and Clark joined us. As we were all hungry we went for breakfast at the plaza inn, and were loved by lots of characters. Lots of rides and several hours later, we headed over to california adventure to meet up with her Dad. Beth, Logan, Clark and I rode Grizzly rapids. Though I had a minor panic attack (I don't really know why) we didn't get REALLY wet, and we had a really good time. Then it was off to the Koda bear campground, we all got our totems, and the "kids" ran through the nets. Then to our "dinner" at Ariel's grotto.. another character meal. Wohoo! Beth was a happy girl, Aurora was one of the Princesses. After dinner we went back to Disneyland, and rode more rides. Beth was starving about 11pm, and so we skipped out and went to Coco's for dessert/late night snack. Then home. I'll post some pictures later, sorry. So that was her big day at disney.

Her OTHER big day.... yesterday, Tuesday October 7, 2008... Our Beth had her braces removed. WOW!!!!!!!!!!! Pictures coming soon.

Ok, I'm off.